And why am I in here? That's what I thought when I drove the hour communte from Mesa to Phoenix for about 6 months during my first pregnancy. And the truck had no ac. I had a good hour to wrestle with heat invoked dry heaving while maintaining a clutch in stop and go traffic. And that was one way. It makes me nauseaus to write about it. Sympathy pains for myself. But I had a craving one day for peanut m&m's. As I was sitting at my very grey and uninspiring cubicle, a sudden panic hit for the chocolate wonders with a very pleasant crunch. And there was no free agency left. Mission: I must obtain peanut m&m's or I shall go mad. And pursuit began. With a wrist flick, unsuspecting coins resting peacefully at the bottom of my desk drawer were suddenly clawed up for active duty, and within moments my coin-filled fist fired at at the innocent vending machine. It instantly surrendered the yellow booty bag, and I had my satiation satisfied. And it was just a small bag, maybe what 7 oz. or whatever that size was. I thought I was being entirely unrestrained and gluttonous when I ate that bag in two bites. I was ravenous. But it worked and I craved no more that day. I had no real idea what real craving was, until I had two children. Then I realized that severe cravings come after pregnancy. One day -two children later- I ate an entire family size bag of the candy endorphins by myself. And that day, I earned it. But this day, I'm paying for it with 20 lbs that refuse to leave me alone. Yes, I have a food storage. It's on the middle shelf right under the rib cage. Okay, maybe not food storage, but definitely left overs.
Lesson: leaving yourself unsatisfied only causes binging. But unrestraint inevitably brings remorse. You must fill yourself with good things so there is no craving for the bad.